Independent.
For the longest time now, I have associated myself with this word.
I have been living on my own for the past 2 and a half years and away from home for over 5 years now. So when I go back home for a visit now, it is almost always accompanied with my parents looking at me with a hint of tears in their eyes, the good ol' Indian parents thinking how much their daughter has changed. For the good, hopefully. Oh and also, my uncle showing me off to all of his friends with pride and saying, "Our journalist is back home".
So, for them I'm the most independent as it can get.
On the hindsight, not as much.
As I recall on a very blurred drunken night, on my way back from a friend's place, in the cab, while leaning on a guy friend, he had said, "In the words of Major Lazer, all we need is someone to lean on". Smart move yo, smart move.
But how does that make me truly independent? If in my weakest times, I'm not comfortable with myself but need reassurance from another someone.
I have never believed that I need validation from someone to feel good about the way I look, so why then should I need an approval stamp for the way I want to feel?
So, last night, while I was in my room, trying on the best clothes I had and dancing, coincidentally, to the tunes of Major Lazer's Lean On, neither did I feel the need to answer those texts that kept coming in nor did I feel the need to text anyone.
And that's when it dawned up on me, maybe Major Lazer could have changed the lyrics around a bit. Sometimes, all we need is someone to lean on, for all the other times, we can be perfectly fine on our own.
For the longest time now, I have associated myself with this word.
I have been living on my own for the past 2 and a half years and away from home for over 5 years now. So when I go back home for a visit now, it is almost always accompanied with my parents looking at me with a hint of tears in their eyes, the good ol' Indian parents thinking how much their daughter has changed. For the good, hopefully. Oh and also, my uncle showing me off to all of his friends with pride and saying, "Our journalist is back home".
So, for them I'm the most independent as it can get.
On the hindsight, not as much.
As I recall on a very blurred drunken night, on my way back from a friend's place, in the cab, while leaning on a guy friend, he had said, "In the words of Major Lazer, all we need is someone to lean on". Smart move yo, smart move.
But how does that make me truly independent? If in my weakest times, I'm not comfortable with myself but need reassurance from another someone.
I have never believed that I need validation from someone to feel good about the way I look, so why then should I need an approval stamp for the way I want to feel?
So, last night, while I was in my room, trying on the best clothes I had and dancing, coincidentally, to the tunes of Major Lazer's Lean On, neither did I feel the need to answer those texts that kept coming in nor did I feel the need to text anyone.
And that's when it dawned up on me, maybe Major Lazer could have changed the lyrics around a bit. Sometimes, all we need is someone to lean on, for all the other times, we can be perfectly fine on our own.
Sanchita di, i absolutely loved the way you have penned down your thoughts in such an awesome manner. The last paragraph was the best.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much :)
ReplyDelete