The wait

Honking cars, flashing lights and ringing bells, everyone is in a hurry to be somewhere. Somewhere. Right beside me, Miss P is driving the car and hurling abuses at the man who just crossed her path. Then she turns to me with glaring eyes suggesting that I should also do the same. We meet the man again at the next signal. He does it again. And this time before Miss P’s glaring eyes could shoot a look at me, I lift my hands and signal towards the man, “Kya”. Miss P is happy and our drive continues peacefully but only till the next signal.

I pause. I glance around.

While everyone keeps complaining about time flying away too fast, not reaching somewhere on time, graduation here too soon and turning another year older, I look at the other side. At the wait to reach there.  

I was waiting alone at work for my friend to come along. She said it will take her five minutes more. And as I tried to shuffle my contacts and then my playlist and then my messages and very nonchalantly gave out the message that I’m busy, those five minutes seemed to last forever. The wait for the friend made me realise how even in the busiest of all streets you can feel very lonely.

The phone kept buzzing as I tried to ignore the messages. My mind was fixated on the laptop screen where I was scrolling through the Facebook messages. It had been more than a month since he had last messaged. And here I was, in the darkness of the night hoping against hope that with the tick tock of the clock, his reply should also pop on my screen. The wait for his reply made me realise that sometimes even when there are many others vying for your attention, your heart is stuck on that one person who still hasn’t replied.

And as I keep waiting for the many things to change in my life, I know one thing. The wait may make you feel restless, it may make you angry but when the wait is over, you treasure the time that got you there, to the end.

The correction

Just as I had finished updating my last blog, I thought again about the first paragraph. And I realised I was wrong. Yes, I had realised it long back. I’m just writing it now because I’m still suffering from the wedding hangover. No, not mine you doofus. My brother’s. Anyways, the point is, it’s true that I still have minimum expectations and I’m still scared of disappointment. But, I realised I do have more than a few friends who would do things willingly for me. Scratch that, I have a lot.

From a pack of friends who have been there for me since as long as I can remember to new ones who have learnt to understand my complexities and pacify my anger, I still have trouble keeping in constant touch with all of them. But I know, all it takes is one call from me (even if it’s after ages) that says I need help. Long conversation calls and then really long texts to rekindle the light of my heart, my friends have done it all.

To the ones in Hyderabad, thank you for being my constant support at work (even though I pass on my work to you guys a lot of times). Thank you for accompanying me in my crazy shopping trips and laughing to my silly jokes. And not to forget, thank you for making me want to come back to this city even after a long vacation at home.

To the ones from Pune, who were and will always be a part of my ‘home away from home’ (silly Symbiosis reference), thank you for the times you have held my hand and wiped my tears. For the times when you teased me enough to make me want to kill you but only because you love me to death, when you fought with me and against me. Thank you for those little trips to the garden of our society, to the restaurants around just so that we could talk. But most importantly, thank you for the most beautiful three years of my life.

To the ones back home in Cuttack, you guys know who you are. Thank you for all the childhood memories, the stupid things we have done together, the sleepovers. And even though we may act like snooty bitches sometimes, I know that the love we have for each other surpasses all our snootiness. Thank you for being my go-to people since over 10 years now and making sure that our friendship hasn’t changed one bit even though we have not been staying in the same city for over four years now. To the few I keep meeting every now and then, thank you for making that effort and listening to my problems always. To the ones I have been yearning to meet since a long time now, thank you for the hope that we will soon even though our schedules don’t make it seem so.

 

So long, my goofy bunch of friends